When Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin met, they had something more in common than mutual attraction, they were both practicing “The Wait,” having made personal commitments to wait to have sex until marriage.
The duo, authors of a bestselling book, “The Wait,” explaining their delayed gratification philosophy, sat down with Maria Shriver for an Architects of Change Live discuss to elaborate on their decision to take sex off the table during their dating period.
“Do you do anything physical at all, or is that like nothing?” Maria asked the couple of waiting in the video above.
“We’re trying to erase the stigma, cause people think celibacy and then subconsciously they think asexuality,” DeVon explained. “We talk about in the book about ‘passion chemistry.” You need to know, is there a spark? Do we have that kind of chemistry?”
“So how do you tell that?” Maria asked.
“You can kiss, you can embrace,” DeVon explained. “What happened was, I had been used to practicing The Wait and she hadn’t as long, there would be times we would kiss and I’m like ‘This is great,’ and she was like, ‘No stop, too much.’ I’m like ‘Too much? What are you talking about? It was just a minute, wasn’t even a minute!’ But what we learned, was that we had passion, and we had chemistry and we were attracted.”
“You write in the book about making the decision [to wait], and you think that had you not made that decision, you never would have been married to this man,” Maria said, joking that perhaps the pair were motivated by the desire to sleep together. But Meagan said that wasn’t the case…
“Our point was not to…tell people what to do, but rather to encourage them to ask themselves the questions that they need to ask themselves to figure out what they need to do for themselves to get what they want,” Meagan explained, with DeVon adding, “From a man’s standpoint, the thing that I began to look at was like, ‘Look, I don’t want you to fall in love with what I can do in the bedroom before you fall in love with who I am.”
Now that they’re married, does the waiting end?
“The waiting [for the] sex part ends, praise the Lord,” Meagan joked. “But I think that there are definitely still ways to utilize The Wait, just in your life in general.”
DeVon added that the pausing isn’t a passive action, “It’s kind of like aggressive patience.”
Watch DeVon and Meagan’s full Architects of Change conversation here. And check out Maria’s other Architects of Change conversations with Shonda Rhimes, Cindy Crawford, Patrick Kennedy and Seth and Lauren Rogen here.