This Week, I’m Focused on Acceptance

by | Jun 25, 2017 | I've Been Thinking

This Week, I’m Focused on Acceptance

by | Jun 25, 2017 | I've Been Thinking

The truth is, we can all be less judgmental and more accepting. We can do better at accepting our differences and accepting those who may not look like us or think like us, but who are still good, kind, loving and able people.

I read a news story this week that saddened me, but unfortunately, it didn’t really surprise me.

It was about how our country has never been more polarized. The article also reported that those who label themselves as Democrat or Republican focus more on what they hate about the other, than on what is positive about their respective affiliations.

Wow!

That kind of negativity, anger, division and divisiveness is what led me to become an Independent a few years ago. I wanted out of that closed mindset. Out of the angry back and forth. Out of seeing the “other” as the enemy.

That choice led me to instead focus my thoughts on what I was for, not against. It led me to search my soul and shift my focus onto the pillars that I believe in and the values that I admire (compassion, empathy, collaboration, consciousness, care, kindness, and love being just a few).

It also allowed me to surround myself with people whose aspirations are positive, forward-thinking and unifying. I’ve moved away from people who complain non-stop and toward those who espouse positive views of others and who challenge themselves to come up with solutions to make our country stronger.

Today, I consciously choose to be in conversation with others who are asking us all to be kinder, less judgmental, more open-minded, and more accepting (individuals like my friends Brian Grazer and Glennon Doyle Melton, who share their voices exclusively with you today).

The truth is, we can all be less judgmental and more accepting. We can do better at accepting our differences and accepting those who may not look like us or think like us, but who are still good, kind, loving and able people. (Our Architect of Change of the Week Gordon Hartman is one individual who is helping lead us in this direction.)

Over the years, I have worked in unison with Democrats and Republicans. I have met good men and women in both parties who are united in the belief that we can be more socially compassionate, environmentally conscious, fiscally responsible and be accepting of our shared humanity.

Let’s be real: labels divide us and lead us to assumptions about the other. Assumptions lead to judgments, which in turn make it harder to accept what is. Accepting what is requires presence and focus.

Now, let me be honest. Acceptance has been somewhat challenging for me because I’m one of those people who in the past just assumed that if I worked hard enough at something, I could get it to work like I imagined. How arrogant of me.

But then a friend said to me, “You know, Maria, there is your business, there’s the other person’s business, and then there is God’s business.  Whenever you are in someone else’s business—God included—you are in the wrong business.”

Bam!

Letting go of other people’s business and accepting what is has turned out to be a huge relief for me. It’s also given me more time! I’ve also learned that just because we accept something as it is, it doesn’t mean we have to let go of our hope or our aspirations for ourselves.

There are quite a few things in my own life that I don’t like (I’m not going to tell you), but I accept them as they are today. But, I’m also focused on aspiring to do better and I’m hopeful about what’s to come. I’m hopeful not just about my own life, but the life of our country. (Yes, I really am!)

I accept that we are divided. I accept that the two-party system is divisive. I accept that the mainstream media and other media can and must do better. But, I don’t believe we have to stay as-is.

Imagine if we all became Independents. Imagine if we all dropped the assumptions about the “other.” Imagine if we got out of minding other people’s business and used all that mental energy to focus on how we can be kinder, more loving, more compassionate, and more inclusive.

Imagine if we used our mental energy to focus on conversations that brought us together (thank you, Janet Mock), and focused on issues that we could agree on.

Imagine the world that way, and then start building it—conversation by conversation, idea by idea, thought by thought, issue by issue. Maybe start by thinking about the idea of shared national service. It would give us all a common experience and a common commitment to something larger than ourselves, like our country.

In any event, that’s what I’m thinking of doing this summer because I refuse to accept that “what is” is the best we can do. Acceptance and aspiration can lead us out of what is and into a more accepting and unified nation.

NEWS ABOVE THE NOISE

YOU DECIDE: SENATE UNVEILS HEALTH CARE BILL

Senate Republicans unveiled the draft of their new bill to rollback and repeal parts of Obamacare on Thursday. No matter your age or your gender, this affects you, so it’s important to get informed. Watch my video to learn more.

PRINCE HARRY: ‘WE’RE ALL MENTAL’

As I’ve written before, we all have mental health challenges. Prince Harry reminded us of that this week and encouraged us all to move towards acceptance and away from judgment.

UBER CEO RESIGNS. NOW WHAT?

Travis Kalanick isn’t the first founder to be ousted from his own company. Here are five lessons on life and leadership from other execs who had to accept that stepping down was the right thing to do.

FAITH LEADERS: CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS?

Some of the world’s top spiritual guides, including Pope Francis and the Dalai Lama, encourage us to find common ground in this new video campaign.

PASSIONATE VIEWS & POWERFUL PERSPECTIVES
FROM ARCHITECTS OF CHANGE

GLENNON DOYLE-MELTON: “WE WIN OTHERS’ ACCEPTANCE BY ACCEPTING OURSELVES AND OUR DECISIONS.” 

Author Glennon Doyle Melton, who I sat down with for an Architects of Change conversation last October, checks back in with us after a year of finding her truth, which included marrying her love, Abby Wombach.

ACADEMY-AWARD WINNER BRIAN GRAZER: “I WANTED TO MAKE A MOVIE THAT COULD DESTIGMATIZE DISABILITY. THAT BECAME A BEAUTIFUL MIND.”

Architect of Change Brian Grazer, the award-winning producer of films including Splash, Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind, discusses how he’s used his work to foster deeper understanding.

JANET MOCK: “HAVING A MOM THAT AFFIRMED MY TRUTH…LET ME LEAD THE WAY.”

Trans Activist and Architect of Change Janet Mock shares what her mother’s love and support taught her about the values every parent should have if they want their children to feel loved and accepted.

ARCHITECT OF CHANGE OF THE WEEK:

GORDON HARTMAN: “INCLUSION AND ACCESSIBILITY ARE TWO OF THE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS IN OUR VOCABULARY.”

Gordon Hartman is giving hope and a good time to millions of Americans with disabilities after opening the country’s first-ever fully-accessible theme park and waterpark.

>> READ MORE <<

INSPIRATION FOR THE WEEK AHEAD

SHOP FOR YOUR MIND

“My First Coloring Book Is On Sale Now!”

I’m so excited that Color Your Mind” is now a national bestseller! If you know someone with Alzheimer’s or another brain-related challenge, or if you know someone who is a caregiver, I hope you’ll consider gifting them with a copy. It’s designed with love.

READ MORE ABOUT WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING

The Power of Boredom, Breaks and Creativity

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the pillars of the society I want to live in. The society I want to work in. The society I want to grow old in.

Love, as I wrote last week, is the guiding principle of that society. There are several other principles as well, which I’ll get to over the next few weeks. But today, on Father’s Day, I want to focus on the concept of kindness.

Kindness, I believe, is one of the most important qualities that we can have. It’s what can lead us out of our current atmosphere, which is anything but kind.

We rarely recognize kindness as a form of strength, but it is. It takes strength to lead your life from a place of kindness — whether you are leading as a father, an elected official, a teacher, a CEO, or as someone in some other role.

Being kind starts with being kind to yourself. You know that inner voice that so often berates you and everyone around you? That voice that tells you that you’re not working hard enough? That you’re not keeping up? That says, ‘Who do you think you are’? Well, when that voice finishes berating you, it comes out of your mouth and reaches everyone around you.

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These Great Dames Are Aging Gracefully

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the pillars of the society I want to live in. The society I want to work in. The society I want to grow old in.

Love, as I wrote last week, is the guiding principle of that society. There are several other principles as well, which I’ll get to over the next few weeks. But today, on Father’s Day, I want to focus on the concept of kindness.

Kindness, I believe, is one of the most important qualities that we can have. It’s what can lead us out of our current atmosphere, which is anything but kind.

We rarely recognize kindness as a form of strength, but it is. It takes strength to lead your life from a place of kindness — whether you are leading as a father, an elected official, a teacher, a CEO, or as someone in some other role.

Being kind starts with being kind to yourself. You know that inner voice that so often berates you and everyone around you? That voice that tells you that you’re not working hard enough? That you’re not keeping up? That says, ‘Who do you think you are’? Well, when that voice finishes berating you, it comes out of your mouth and reaches everyone around you.

read more

This Is the Time to Rethink What We Know

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the pillars of the society I want to live in. The society I want to work in. The society I want to grow old in.

Love, as I wrote last week, is the guiding principle of that society. There are several other principles as well, which I’ll get to over the next few weeks. But today, on Father’s Day, I want to focus on the concept of kindness.

Kindness, I believe, is one of the most important qualities that we can have. It’s what can lead us out of our current atmosphere, which is anything but kind.

We rarely recognize kindness as a form of strength, but it is. It takes strength to lead your life from a place of kindness — whether you are leading as a father, an elected official, a teacher, a CEO, or as someone in some other role.

Being kind starts with being kind to yourself. You know that inner voice that so often berates you and everyone around you? That voice that tells you that you’re not working hard enough? That you’re not keeping up? That says, ‘Who do you think you are’? Well, when that voice finishes berating you, it comes out of your mouth and reaches everyone around you.

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