Seeking Acceptance? Start With Yourself.

This moment in American history is begging all of us to rise up and join together to demand that America lives up to her promise: Freedom and justice for all instead of for a privileged few.

Glennon Doyle Melton is a powerful voice with a lot to say about identity, acceptance and learning to love ourselves as we are.

Her first book, Carry on Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, captivated millions by humorously and poignantly sharing her stories of finding her voice. Her latest book, Love Warrior, reflects on the infidelity and betrayal of Melton’s previous marriage and how she used crisis to find her true identity and a better life.

Finding one’s identity and building a better life are ongoing processes, Melton told Maria Shriver when the two sat down in October 2016 for an Architects of Change conversation. Those truths are evidenced by the changes Melton has continued to make in her life over the past year, including marrying soccer star Abby Wombach in May.

Today, she shares her perspective on finding acceptance and the importance of intersectionality with readers of The Sunday Paper.

On Acceptance:

We win others’ acceptance by accepting ourselves and our decisions – without the defensiveness that accompanies fear of losing what we’ve decided we want.

It’s easy to stay peaceful inside the storms of others’ reactions when we know that whether they approve or not, it won’t affect our decision. So when we know what we must do, we do it – and then we reveal it to people with steadiness, certainty, shamelessness and love. Then, no matter how they react, we carry on being our brave, happy, new selves.

We prove to people that we’re okay by actually being okay.

And while we’re carrying on, we can be patient with people who take longer to accept us because we’re not waiting for their acceptance to live our lives! When we were coming out to our people and the world – Abby and I told each other, everyday – “No Lies In, Only Love Out.” Listen: Eventually, people will either come around or they’ll stop coming around. Either way, lovely!

On Intersectionality:

Our country is at rock bottom and since I’m a rock bottom expert, I know that it’s a painful and scary place but also a place that’s full of possibility. I’m hopeful.

Lots of folks in this country have been in pain for a long time – women, children, sick, poor, differently abled, non-Christians and people of color – and somehow our efforts for justice have been largely separate from each other. This moment in American history is begging all of us to rise up and join together to demand that America lives up to her promise: Freedom and justice for all instead of for a privileged few.

I see this solidarity among all marginalized groups happening all over the country and it’s thrilling. First the pain, then the rising.

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