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How to Have a Date With Yourself

by DAVID PHOENIX

The reality is that we live in a society that praises extroverts—be it on social media, or in day-to-day living. There is often this notion that there must be something wrong with you if you’re alone. Not true. It’s taken me a long time to feel ‘good enough’ by myself, and that there isn’t anything wrong with that. Don’t get me wrong—I love people; my friends are my family. Listening and valuing other opinions is great, but at the end of the day, you need to value yours more. Trust yourself—it will make you more confident.

During this period, I made my mind up to limit my daily news intake and to keep my screen time to a minimum. I’ve also made the effort to take up some new habits. When you are alone, there is no one to blame but yourself for not doing things for you.

Eating well and treating yourself well often falls by the wayside when we’re constantly on the go.  While I love to cook and bake, I rarely take the time to prepare a meal or treat just for myself, which I have decided to do during this time. I reorganized my kitchen and filled my refrigerator with food that I could cook, and I made a daily schedule, which includes things like taking a walk around the neighborhood—sometimes with a friend at a distance—going to the grocery store, cooking, and taking time to reach out to friends via Face-time or on the phone.

But when eating alone, I’ve made an extra effort to turn it into an event—or a date with myself at the end of the day—and make it something I can look forward to. It makes me feel good and reminds me that being alone isn’t a bad thing. If you want to feel worthy, do worthy things because “You are worth it!” Here are a few things I do around mealtime:

Set the table

  1. Set the table (I sometimes eat at my kitchen island so I make sure to set that, too).
  2. Use plates, don’t eat out of plastic (Huge pet peeve of mine).
  3. Set the mood with some flowers and candles.
  4. Placemat and napkins make it special.

Cooking

  1. Keep it simple. Cooking helps me unwind and take my mind off of the stress from the onslaught of daily events. Try to use this as a time to decompress and not be stressed.
  2. If you can read, you can cook. Follow a recipe from a book, online, or from a show.
  3. Practice! I’ve been cooking a few dishes on repeat, working on perfecting my technique. That way when we were able to dine together again, I’ll have a few go-to recipes that are effortless.
  4. I love dessert—it’s like a period at the end of a sentence. I’ve been turning to berries and fruit, which are a good alternative to cookies right now!!
  5. If you order food via a delivery service, the tips still apply!

Write it down/Read

  1. Keep a pad and pen nearby.
  2. Set some goals for the next day.
  3. Make a list of people you can call or check on.
  4. I sometimes jot down my shopping list as I think of it.
  5. Newspapers or books are nice to peruse in between bites.
  6. I write down at least ten things I am grateful for. If you feel comfortable, start a group chat gratitude list.

Music

  1. I love to have music playing in the background. I find it very calming.
  2. Take a break from the 24-hour news cycle and turn off the TV.
  3. Charge your phone. It’s a good way to take a break from looking at it, especially during mealtime.

Plan ahead

  1. Take the time to think and plan ahead for the upcoming week
  2. Have a check list for your pantry so you don’t run out!!
  3. Making meals ahead of time has been helpful so I’m not stressed about what to eat at the last minute.
  4. Make plans for the future and take the steps to actually do it. It gives you something to look forward to. Don’t put things off. Don’t wait for the perfect time, relationship, or circumstance. Perfect never comes! The time to start is now. Most importantly, plan to be good to you today!

DAVID PHOENIX

David Phoenix is a celebrated and influential Los Angeles Designer known for thoughtful, modern luxury, and livability. Click here for more information on DAVID PHOENIX Interior Design.