How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others


How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others


“It’s possible that we are being spared instead of punished when things don’t go the way we think they should, even though we may not see it that way at the time.”

This week it’s time to bury Maria’s third New Year’s resolution: making comparisons.

“Even though I know that absolutely nothing good comes from making comparisons, I’ve still engaged in them,” Maria wrote on January 1. “No more.”

You may have also experienced times in your life when you have compared yourself to others and felt inadequate, not enough, sad, disappointed, frustrated or upset.

Comparisons are made by a critical mind who is upset because it thinks that you should be more than you are, or you should do more than you do in order to be as wanted, as successful, or as happy as someone else.

After the comparison is made, the mind often decides one of two things. It concludes that either something is wrong with you, or something is wrong with the fairness of Life/God.

Depending on who you trust and believe in the most — yourself or God — your mind will then focus on and attack the weaker of the two parties.

If the critical mind decides something must be wrong with you, it will create feelings of sadness, unworthiness, and inadequacy, and pity.

Here are a few things you may hear your mind say about you:

  • You are not doing it right.
  • You are failing.
  • They must be smarter than you.
  • You must not be enough or not good enough.
  • You are making bad decisions.

If the critical mind decides that God or Life is unfair and is breaking the rules of how it should be or how things are supposed to go, it will use blame and create feelings such as unfairness, confusion, anger and frustration.

Here are a few things you may hear the mind say about Life/God:

  • I’m doing everything right and I’m not being supported.
  • They are not a good person but they are getting all of this support.
  • It’s not fair that they get that and I do not.
  • God or Life plays favorites.
  • God loves them more.
  • God must not love or care about me.
  • I must not be good enough for God to love and support me.

Now that we understand a little bit about what is going on in your mind when you are comparing yourself to others, let’s look at a few things that we can do to stop this behavior of comparing ourselves.

Here are 3 things for you to absorb and explore:

  1. Celebrate being you. Begin to build a foundation of trust and love of yourself. Strengthen your belief in your abilities. Learn self-acceptance. Learn self-tolerance, meaning, perceived mistakes, failures, and flaws are not just okay, but are an expected and normal part of life. Understand your uniqueness. No one can be you or do the things you do in exactly the way you do them. Celebrate being you. No one else on this planet was given the gift of being you…only you.
  1. Improve your relationship with Life/God. If you are angry and frustrated at Life or God because you think it is unfair and it “breaks the rules,” it’s time to surrender these beliefs and attitudes and make peace. It’s also time to reevaluate the things you believe about what “good people” should be given, or your beliefs around God. There is a bigger picture at play and things we think we need to be or need to have, may not always be the best things for us in the grand scheme of our lives. It’s possible that we are being spared instead of punished when things don’t go the way we think they should, even though we may not see it that way at the time.
  1. Focus on your own path. It’s time to come away from looking at what everyone else is being, doing, and receiving and begin to march to the beat of your own drum. Your heart will lead you down your path, the path that is right for you. It may look very different to that of your friends and family. What happens in the lives of others is their business and their journey. Be happy for them but also know that what happens on their journey is never a personal indicator of how you are doing on your journey. These are two completely different paths for two unique individuals. In fact, there’s a unique and different path for all 7.5 billion of us. Own your path and be proud of it no matter what happens or how it looks to others.

Contemplating and accepting these three understandings and putting them into practice may end the urge to compare yourself to those around you and help to eliminate the need to punish yourself for perceived failures or blame God for a perceived lack of love and/or support.

For more detailed information on how to eliminate comparisons from your life and many other common topics of the mind, Maria is inviting you to join alongside her for a full 30-day Mind Reboot during the month of March. Following a 30 day plan full of tips, videos, workbooks and other resources can really help you to change your mind in ways that will support your freedom, empowerment and happiness. It’s 100% free. I hope to see you there!

Angie Johnsey



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