10 Things You Didn’t Know About Today’s Man

The 21st Century Man is not who you think he is.

The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the 21st Century Man, a groundbreaking new survey from A Woman’s Nation™ with the support of The California Endowment and conducted by Hart Research Associates, has launched an overdue analysis of the American man today revealing stereotype-cracking discoveries:

1. His American dream starts with achieving personal success at home over financial and professional advancement.

The 21^st Century American man prioritizes personal success with family and being present to be a good father, husband, son or friend in the achievement of The American Dream over financial independence, professional success or leaving a legacy. 3 in 5 of today’s men named personal achievement at home as the marker of success with financial success and independence coming in second a only 24%.

[Read: What Does It Mean to Be ‘A Man’ Today? by Jennifer Siebel Newsom & Maria Shriver]

2. Today’s man is shaped by his parents and rarely looks to sports icons, politicians or celebrities as role models.

Modern media’s obsession with celebrating sports and entertainment figures has little impact on molding the role model for today’s man. Only 2% of respondents with a male role model said they see sports or celebrity figures as role models. 67% of men said they have or have had a strong male role model, the overwhelming majority citing their father or another male relative. Just 3% cited an elected official. In fact, only 36% of American men credited popular American film and television for having strongly influenced their concept of American manhood. Maybe surprisingly, mothers have a huge influence in shaping today’s man into who he wants to be, with 83% of men reporting their mothers had a positive impact. 74% of men reported their fathers having a positive influence.

3. Today’s man is very comfortable with his spouse or partner working outside the home, Answering to a female boss and being out-earned by his female partner. Yet, less than half of today’s men feel very comfortable with a female President of the United States.

Almost two-thirds of American men are very comfortable having a partner or spouse who works outside the home. Half of American men are also very comfortable either being out-earned by their partner or spouse or reporting to a female boss. However, less than half of American men are very comfortable having a female President of the United States.

[Read: The Traits of a Good Man From a Mother of 2 Boys]

4. Today’s man values family but is likely not willing to be a stay-at-home dad.

However important personal success and being present for family is for the 21st Century Man, only 44% of men would be very comfortable taking twelve weeks of paid paternity leave if offered to them by their employer and just 24% would feel very comfortable being a stay-at-home father.

5. Today’s man personal character and integrity are the top markers of strength in today’s world.

Sixty-eight percent of today’s men say having a strong personal character and sense of integrity are the most important ways to be a strong man in today’s world. The next most important markers of strength are the ability to provide financially (44%), the confidence to follow his own path (40%), having the emotional strength to deal with stressful situations (37%) and physical dominance (11%).

[Read: Are You Raising Compassionate Boys?]

6. Today’s man might think it’s harder to be a man today as he navigates an economy that includes the 21^st century woman.

4 in 9 of today’s men say that it is harder to be a man today than it was for his father. The most common reason given for this shift is women attaining a stronger position in the workplace, a stronger position financially and greater gender equality. In fact, 30% of American men agree that women taking on greater responsibility outside the home has had a negative effect on the confidence of American men. Men also mention negative assumptions about men, a more competitive job market, greater household responsibilities for men and greater expectations for men in society today.

7. Today’s man wants different things for his wife or partner than he does for his daughter.

The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the 21st Century Man reveals an eye-opening disparity between the qualities contemporary men feel are paramount in a wife or partner and what they value for their daughters. Intelligence was cited as an important quality in both a partner and a daughter, yet only 34% mention independence in their partner and 66% describe wanting an independent daughter. Men note “principled” and “strong” as desirable qualities for a daughter but are much less likely to want a daughter to be “sweet” and “attractive” – qualities they value more in a female partner.

[Read: What Is a “Feminist”? A Man’s Definition]

8. Today’s man is split on whether it’s more important to “be present” or to provide for his family, spouse or partner.

Men are split down the middle on whether it is more important for their role as a man to be present and a good partner for their spouse and family or to be able to provide for them. Younger American men, those 18-49, are more likely to prize being present while older American men, those over age 50, cite the importance of being a provider, representing an interesting shift in masculinity.

9. Today’s man doesn’t think showing emotion is a sign of weakness.

The age of the strong, silent man might be waning as men over age 65 are less likely – 19% compared to 37% – to prioritize emotional strength than their younger counterparts. They are also more likely to note physical power as an important definer of strength in men. In general, only 22% of American men said showing emotion is a sign of weakness.

[Read Maria Shriver’s latest essay]

10. Today’s man is probably more concerned with making a good impression and earning the respect of other men over the respect of women.

More than half of American men admitted that, in general, their gender is more concerned with making a good impression and earning the respect of men over women. 36% of American men report feeling uncomfortable around homosexual men. 22% of men also admitted to having felt the urge to act violently when their manhood was challenged. And, 73% of men said that their sexual confidence is directly aligned with their masculinity.

For more about these findings and the implications, read the full press release about today’s launch of The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the 21st Century Man, which includes the main findings and headlines from the poll.

This post originally appeared on awomansnation.org.