Do You Have a Choice with Your Anxiety?
We are all aware that anxiety is at an all-time high during this time in our country and in our world. Many minds are riddled with tremendous uncertainty regarding the future and what changes are to come with our direction and leadership.
Let’s talk a little about what we can do to manage and hopefully calm these anxieties during this time.
It is easy to think or feel that anxiety is just something that is happening to you and you are merely a victim. There are some circumstances where this is true. When you are having anxiety but know you have been taking excellent care of your mind, then the anxiety is coming from a deeper place within you. Possibly some past experience of unresolved trauma or stored emotional energy. This energy surfaces at times that do not make logical sense to you. Meaning, there seems to be no apparent stress or reason for it to surface at that moment. There is no apparent trigger. This is a past trauma or post-traumatic stress.
However, most of the anxiety that society is experiencing now is due to poor inner parenting or poor mental health care. This is current stress, meaning stressful thoughts that are being allowed into your mental space right now. We are watching other minds creating stress through judgements, perceptions, and thoughts of the future and then choosing to join them. Other minds are freaking out. We spend most of the day watching these other minds freak out, then we freak out, too.
You must take responsibility for your mind care. You have a choice. Care for your mind. Know it’s limits. Know what it can handle and what it can’t. Here’s how:
The child or mind is the anxious one.
Separate from the anxiety. Do this by realizing you are not your mind. You are not the part that is anxious. Your mind or your inner child is anxious. Yes, both of you feel the anxiety or excess energy running through your body, but it’s being stimulated by the mind. You, who you are, is the forever calm presence. You are the witness and caretaker of the mind. Embody the calm presence of the adult nurturing caretaker and take charge of this situation. Talk to the child. Ask it what is wrong. Notice what it has been thinking about and how often it has been thinking about that topic. Then begin taking better care of this part of you.
If anxiety is surfacing in the form or panic attacks for no apparent reason, allow a professional to help you release that stored energy.
Understand that anxiety is simply excess energy full of the adrenaline hormone that makes you feel jittery, clammy, short of breath, as well as other symptoms that can occur. It starts from perceived fear in the mind and then the body gets involved as it thinks it is in danger. It is not pleasant of course, but don’t let the mind make a huge deal of it. Don’t let the mind build even more fear or anxiety over feeling fear and anxiety. Let your mind know that when you feel symptoms of anxiety, your body is just doing its job and letting you as the caretaker know that you might want to check in and take care of your mind.
Watch what you are feeding it.
Know what scares your mind or inner child and what comforts it, and then choose to feed it comfort instead of fear. Allowing it to watch other minds argue, attack one another, hurt one another physically or verbally is feeding it fear. Allowing it to listen to others’ minds talk about the uncertainty of the future and speculate on what could or might happen is feeding it fear. Choose wisely what you allow your mind to watch and listen to.
Monitor and redirect as needed. (This is parenting.)
It is important to listen to the thought or content topic your mind is entertaining within your inner dialogue. What is it focusing on? How much space does that topic take up in your mind? How often do you think about it? How is it making your mind feel emotionally by allowing it to think about it? Just as you would not allow your child to talk endlessly about some topic that clearly upsets it, you also should not allow this of your own mind. Redirect it. It’s ok to say to your mind and to yourself, “that’s enough now. That thought is no good for you.”
Wallowing in the pain and fear of this is not helping or making things better. It’s time to move to a better thought. Reach for a topic that feels better. You can let it know that you understand it is afraid. You also realize it is afraid not to think about it constantly because it thinks by thinking about it constantly that it will finally come to some solution. Help it understand that solutions can only come when it relaxes and steps out of the fear that it is in around the topic.
Take it for a walk outside. Point out other things to focus on or think about. Just as you would do for a crying child. That is one of the first things I always did with my kids (learned from my mom, I’m sure). If the child was beside themselves, take them outside in the fresh air and point out the trees, and butterflies, and anything and everything to distract their minds from the thing causing the pain. You must do this for your own inner child which is your mind.
You can do this.
Yes, getting professional help can be extremely helpful. However, the caretaker job after you leave that session belongs to you. No one is going to follow you around 24/7 and take care of your mind or inner child for you. You can talk to a therapist and they can help you learn how to parent or care for your mind, or help you help it heal from past pain, neglect, or abuse, but the caretaker job is yours and yours alone. You are the only one who hears and experiences every single thing your mind says and does from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed.
Love, care for, and protect your mind and eventually you will notice how calm it has become.
This essay was featured in the November 8, 2020 edition of The Sunday Paper. The Sunday Paper publishes News and Views that Rise Above the Noise and Inspires Hearts and Minds. To get The Sunday Paper delivered to your inbox each Sunday morning for free, click here to subscribe.
