Don’t Give Up On Old-Fashioned Love
The past few days have been filled with heavy emotions that include the highest level of joy, gratitude, and appreciation for the freedom fighters of our country’s past and supporters of our present. Last weekend, I married the love of my life, Nick Caprio after almost 12 years together. Talk about kicking off Pride Month with a bang! It was the best day of our lives that echoed the cheers and tears from our family members and friends that have believed in our love from the beginning. Our parents, wedding party, guests, and vendors all played a part in honoring not just the marriage between Nick and I but the journey of marriage equality becoming the law of the land.
Nick and I met while I was on a work trip for E! News in Chicago, he was just finishing up his last year of college and I was in the midst of all things red carpets in Los Angeles. Getting into a relationship was not on our radar, but as fate would have it, our chemistry went into overdrive and our worlds became one. Our unexpected connection came out of nowhere but served as one of my biggest life lessons to date, and one I hope hits home with many of you, or that inspires you to never give up on the idea of old-fashioned love.
The root of the love Nick and I have for each other comes from both of us believing in old-fashioned love. It is something that you have to believe in but that you must represent once you have it. Old-fashioned love can be defined and seen by simply seeing the pure energy and intent of two people that have the same morals, values, and faith that is reflective of trust, partnership, and the willingness to want to make each other even better. This includes both together as a couple, as well as seeing each other’s own individual platforms rise up. If you want this very kind of love within your own life or perhaps want to ignite the chemistry within in your own relationship, I encourage you to read below the following points:
Reflect On Relationships That Represent True Love
Take time to reflect on the relationship of your parents, grandparents, or a couple from your years past that represents this kind of old-fashioned love that I speak of. What qualities do they encompass? What makes their love story so pure? I would guess that they all have a beautiful story to tell. And, by a beautiful story, I mean one that describes their unique chemistry and lessons learned that helped make them so united. So, when someone does come into your life, I suggest you ask yourself if they reflect the qualities of couples you look up to. If you are already in a relationship, spend time with that very couple you admire, and take in all the good energy that they give off. You would be surprised how one dinner date with them can actually do something special for your own relationship. Positive feeds on positive and the more you are around like-minded people, the more goodness you will feel around your own relationship. People in genuine happy relationships want to see other new relationships thrive.
Let Go Of The Pressures From Social Media
Social media is an incredible tool to get a message out there or to simply connect. If used in the right way, you can even help make a difference in the world. If it was not for social media, Nick and I would have never been able to become part of the Barbie family or trigger such a mindful conversation around the world. With that said, when it comes to love and dating, social media can often bring a haze to what is real and what is not. If you think about it, after meeting someone, you can immediately find out if they have a dog, if they work out, what they like to eat, where they like to travel, etc. Dating apps can also expedite the getting to know each other process. So, how does old-fashioned love play a part in all of this, or shall I say – still thrive within the social media realm? Well, it all comes down to focusing on what is actually real and what is the truth. If you are on a dating app or engage in social media flirting, I suggest you highlight parts of your life that are reflective of what is at your core. That means expressing your world through pictures and content that pay true to who you really are, and not what is going to give you the most likes or represent something that is the complete opposite of your core values. The truth always comes out, which is why you should be your most authentic self online, whether you are in love or not.
Stay In Your Love Lane & Be Patient
Love should never be rushed. This is one of the most important points to understand because old-fashioned love is genuine and never on a “have-to timeline.” Society does put a lot of pressure on single people and social media has only made it worse.
Why do you think the wedding industry in the United States is estimated to be worth in the billions? What you can do is not create a timeline for love. It will happen when it happens. If you put pressure on finding love or feeling like you have to rush down the aisle, then the essence of your relationship is probably not going to feel organic or authentic. You must stay in your love lane and not put your blinker on and go into the lane where society tells you to “find love this year or else!” When the love of your life does come into your world, it will make the spark and chemistry so much more worth it. Think about it, if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this person, why do you need to rush it before a certain age or phase of your life?
Acknowledge Your Faith & Fate
Nick and I are men that believe in God. We believe that there is a higher power that connected us together. It took our own work as a couple to make our relationship what it is today, but we thank God and acknowledge that fate brought us together as well. Nothing is ever a coincidence, don’t you agree? Nick and I have the same middle name, our fathers are both named Vince, our mother’s names are Mary Carol and Mary Kay, and we both come with similar Italian backgrounds. Those things certainly made us smile, but what feeds into our old-fashioned love relationship is the respect and trust we have for one another and our belief that God supports our love. Bottom line, destiny has a magical way of bringing two people together. It often happens when we least expect it or comes to us in a package that we never envisioned, but when it happens – you must believe in it, feed into it, and focus on the chemistry that brought you together.
I close this article as a married man of one week, but also a man that was told by society when I was young that loving another man was wrong. I hope my recent wedding and 12-year relationship gives hope to anyone out there that believes in true love because no hurdle is ever too high for love. You just have to remember to never give up on love, and celebrate the people in your life that cheered you on along the way.
Matt Jacobi is a writer and has been a voice of truth on various world topics such as women’s rights, religion, mental health, bullying and equality. His current mission is to get more men to stand with women so that they can work together to make equality more of a reality. Jacobi was inspired to be an advocate for women’s rights since the birth of his two nieces. He vowed to bring light to the topic of female empowerment, so they could grow up in a world that is filled with equal opportunity and rights that support them to be leaders, bosses, and – yes, fighters. Freedom fighters, equality fighters, and human rights fighters.
This essay was featured in the June 9th edition of The Sunday Paper newsletter. The Sunday Paper is the paper of record for individuals who want to be Architects of Change, lead meaningful lives and Move Humanity Forward. To get inspiring and informative content like this essay delivered to your inbox each Sunday morning for free, click here to subscribe.