When You Set Out to Follow Your Truth, the First Direction is Always Inward. These 3 Steps Will Help You Go There
I always wanted an adventurous life. I imagined myself as one of those world-weary, cigarette-smoking femmes fatales in the background of a bar scene in Casablanca. A rich backstory. An ambiguous accent. Maybe a visible scar for added mystique.
And I have to say, I put in my time. As a young adult, I busked, bartended, backpacked, and hitchhiked through Europe. I rode a motorcycle along the Thai-Myanmar border and travelled third-class on a night train in India. I once went to Kyrgyzstan just to see what it was like. I sat in countless circles on countless beaches through countless nights on several continents, singing the same three Neil Young songs on countless banged-up guitars.
Mary Chapin Carpenter recalls a similar part of her life as her “pirate days”—an unbound time, sailing the seven seas. My own pirate days were heady and rich. I have no regrets. I might have continued going to sea for many more years.
But then 2020 hit.
Several things happened to me that year. I got pregnant. I turned 40. And then there was some kind of virus that went around—you might have heard of it.
I’ve heard people call parenthood an adventure, and there’s no question I love discovering everything about my baby daughter. But deep in pandemic lockdown, dazed with the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn, my life sometimes felt more like a dungeon than an exciting exploration.
I remember the afternoon everything changed. I was sitting on the floor in my daughter’s room, the tiny pink creature I’d made gurgling on the rug beside me. I was half-dressed, half conscious, surrounded by piles of baby detritus that all smelled vaguely of sour milk. Several members of my family were at high risk for the virus. My pirate days were well and truly over.
“I can’t go out,” I thought, looking at the unreachable world beyond my window. “I can’t go out. I can’t go out.”
Then, in the echo of my own words, I felt a new idea stirring.
… But I can go in.
That’s how Wild Inventures was born.
What started out as an odd idea developed over the following year into a way of life. I realized that even in my youthful meanderings around the planet, I’d been defining adventure the way I’d seen it in books, folk songs, movies. The template was one that my culture had given me.
But suddenly, I found that I was no longer willing to live from other people’s templates.
Here’s the thing: letting others define our explorations isn’t freedom, it’s just mimicry. And fitting in will never feel as good as following a path only you can imagine. That’s an inventure. Here’s how to create one.
Anatomy of a Wild Inventure
There are three components to creating an inventure, conveniently built into the word itself:
IN
INVENT
VENTURE
Step One: Travel inward.
When we set out to follow our deepest truth, the first direction is always inward. Our identity is like a flower with many layers of petals. The outermost layer—the part we present to the world—is made of superficial characteristics we’ve borrowed from culture. But if we peel back these petals, we begin to see more individual, authentic layers beneath. Begin with the phrase “I am…”
In everyday life, you might define yourself by your occupation. “I am an accountant.” Peel that back. In the next layer down, your “I am” statement might be about relationship: “I am a sister,” or “I am a father.” A few layers deeper still: “I am kind.” “I am trying my hardest.” Eventually you’ll get to “I am me.” You’re nearly there.
There’s a clear moment in this quest when you arrive at your core. This part of you says simply: I am.
Step Two: Invent a new plan for yourself.
Starting from the place of stillness, the I am, you can begin asking your true self what it wants. You might pose the question as Mary Oliver did: What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
This stage is called “invent” because what you’re creating is completely original. It has never existed before. It’s time to break all the templates now.
So, what does your deep self want? How does it yearn to spend these hours? These years? Nothing is too weird or wild at this dreaming stage, so let your imagination roam. (If you’d like help, download my Inventure Initiator, which takes you through this step in detail.)
Step Three: Venture out with your new truths.
For me, venturing is about taking concrete steps towards the truths I’ve “invented.” I try to take at least a few of these steps every day.
For instance, because my soul paradoxically loves both wilderness and big cities, I’ve adopted a lifestyle that takes me back and forth between the two. I’ve challenged myself to post authentic photos on social media, photos in which I am clearly, embarrassingly imperfect. I invented my own hairstyle, which expresses my inner self and prompted my father to say, “You know Elvis is dead, right?”
Each of these steps has looked weird to many people around me. Each of them, even the small ones, took courage. But the life they’ve shaped is more me than anything I ever saw in the movies.
I don’t mind how strange my inventures may look, because what my life looks like doesn’t matter a damn compared to how it feels. And I’ve found that inventures feel good. Crazy good, actually. Epic.
Inventuring Forth
Recently, I’ve had the joy of seeing the people I love start to embrace their own Wild Inventures. One friend used the Inventure Initiator exercise in her quest to find love. My partner used it to start writing her next book. One couple I know told me they grew closer by sharing their inventures.
Heading into 2022, my life looks nothing like my pirate days of yore. I have a kid, a family, a mortgage. But as Mary Chapin Carpenter puts it, back in the pirate days I “buried all my dreams for someone else to find.” Those old dreams weren’t my own. You’re welcome to them if you want them… but better yet, you can join me in making your own Wild Inventures.
I’ve found that the wilder my inventures get, the more peaceful my life becomes. And these days it seems that wherever I dig, I find treasure.
