Journey to a Family Legacy
In one of my Joycean moments of “stream of consciousness” I was dwelling on my mortality. This led me to ponder the question: What legacy I would be leaving my five adult children, their partners, my grandchildren, and my future family generations?
This private thought made me think further about my legacy—and it set in motion several agendas. The first item became a weekly Sunday morning Zoom in which seven family members, all of whom are spread in distance places, took part. We don’t have perfect attendance all the time, but regardless, we all look forward to this weekly call as a means to keep family connected.
It was a good start, but I knew there had to be more I could do. Then the thought popped into my head: I will keep a diary.
Today, the practice of keeping a diary does not have the status that it once had in the height of its popularity in the 18th century reaching its apex during the Victorian era. For hundreds of years, diaries were used to keep information for business purposes. When the cost of paper became affordable and education became more accessible, keeping a diary grew in popularity. Recorded were the private thoughts of the diarist, which now give us important insights into historical events and the everyday life of the culture in which the diarist lived.
As I pondered the idea of keeping my own diary, my daughter, Alexandra, serendipitously and almost simultaneously signed me up for a program called StoryWorth. I soon discovered there was a way to keeping the art of a diary alive by bringing it into the 21st century.
StoryWorth sends you a question electronically each week that you can choose to answer or not. The questions cover a wide range of subjects, such as:
- “At what times in your life were you the happiest?”
- “Who Inspires you?”
- “What are the most selfless things you have done in life?”
- “Are you more like your father or your mother”?
- “What do you consider one of your greatest achievements in life?”
Your answers are archived, and at the end of the year the company bounds your writings into a tangible book.
For me, StoryWorth is the antithesis of Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok, all of which are filled with information that falls into the category of empty calories. The program is designed to leave a legacy of your thoughts and beliefs for your children and future family generations. In the short term, it helps you stay connected to your loved ones over any distance, and to discover things you never knew about your family. This act encourages a bond and a closeness.
Equally important, penning my thoughts caused me to reflect on my life with honesty—warts, and all—and if I was going to leave behind words of credibility and meaning. Being glib was not going to work. The process, at times, was uncomfortable but it opened the door to focusing on what I could change even at this point of my life.
In the sea of turmoil, we are currently living under, I wanted to share with you the latest question and my response. It’s not earth shattering, but I felt, in part, it needs to be embraced and shared with my family.
The question was: What values do you most value in your friends?
My response included:
“Through the years I have chosen few friends in a sea of acquaintances. I believe the common value that resonates among my friends is KINDNESS. The value is defined as “quality or state of being kind and treating people with kindness and respect”.
It’s a value that is often overlooked and by some a sign of weakness, but for me it is the ultimate strength. Kindness brings benefits to both parties, one in the person receiving the kind gesture or thought and greater wellbeing to the person performing the act of kindness.
View the world around you and remember your feelings when you experience or see an act of kindness, large or small. It always has a positive impact on you.
Kindness to your loved ones, or strangers make you and the world around you a better place. Look at your “friends” and if they don’t have this value, can they be true friends.”
Love, Dad”
During this new journey, I felt a bit of remorse that I didn’t start the process of keeping a diary earlier in my life. What did I miss? What memories have faded and cannot be recaptured?
I stopped myself from going down that negative path and realized that perhaps in the past I wasn’t ready or prepared to start this journey. In any case, I came to the satisfying belief that starting the process was the best present I can give my family, not because my words are that unique or monumental, but the process of keeping family values and communications alive and moving forward is a wonderful legacy.
For me, the Sunday Zoom calls have made me a better listener, more aware of each of my family members’ uniqueness, and it has given me a deep sense of satisfaction to see my family grow closer.
Answering the StoryWorth questions, I have had to focus on my core beliefs and their implications.
I pray my children and their children each find their way to keep their own family legacy.
