Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt & Christina Schwarzenegger on National Sisters Day
In honor of National Sisters Day, we asked a pair of our favorite sisters – Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt and Christina Schwarzenegger – to answer some questions for us about how they stay so close, what it was like growing up, and how they lean on each other in tough times.
Katherine, what was it like being the older sister?
KSP: I loved being the older sister my whole life. Because Christina and I are so close in age, there wasn’t a lot that I remember before she was born. I think when we were little, we were treated as if we were more the same age (our mom matched all our clothes) and then as we got older there seemed to be more of a difference. I do remember wanting to do everything with her when we were little so much so that my mom actually had Christina come to camp with me even though she was far too young to attend camp. That theme continued of not wanting to do riding camp alone, go on playdates alone, etc., so Christina came to a lot of activities with me ahead of her age group. Haha.
Christina, what was it like being a younger sister? What did you think of having an older sister?
CS: I loved being a younger sister in many ways and was also very frustrated by it. Katherine has mothered me in many ways since I was born, and as an older sibling, she always tried to show me how to do things in a perfectionist way. I was always under her watch. In many pictures, you will see Katherine feeding me a bottle, squeezing the life out of me, trying to get me to smile by shaping my mouth with her hands or trying to stand a certain way by yanking my hair. I was constantly trying to break away, maybe for fear of life at that age or trying to rebel. Either way, when we were young, Katherine was shy and quiet, and I was out and about with the energy of a Tasmanian devil. She often wanted me to “go first” which I always loved since most times I wasn’t allowed into certain programs because of the age limit. I thought having an older sister was cool at times but she often liked to take on oldest sibling role and boss me around. I was able to watch Katherine go through many milestones, and gain insight into what choices I wanted to make or how I wanted to handle things.
Were there specific roles you feel you played in the family dynamic as big sister/little sister?
KSP: For sure. As the oldest you try and set a good example for your younger siblings and I remember being reminded of that a lot when I was around elementary school age. I was always more mature than my age and acted way older than I was. I was for sure more serious than Christina—more shy as a child, quieter and Christina was always rambunctious, fun and silly. As the oldest, I always felt like I watched my mom and took her lead on most things, like a mom junior in training. When our youngest brother, Christopher, was born, I really felt like the oldest child role set in and then continued for sure as we got older. I liked taking my siblings to school when I got my license (that is literally what I looked forward to most when being able to drive), picking them up from activities, helping my mom where I could, laying out outfits, organizing things, helping with dinner. All the things I am doing as a mom now, I have loved doing since I was little. When I went to college, I even continued to come home all the time just to be around my family as much as I possibly could.
CS: Definitely. Katherine listened to every rule and was always very responsible. She always tried to make sure I followed her lead or did what she said. I didn’t which was problematic at times. Haha. She took her responsibility very seriously and I just had so much energy, was a little more impulsive and loved being silly and having fun. In a way though, I think there was a balance of energies that worked for us, like a yin and yang. I think this dynamic continued into adulthood which allowed for us to individuate, while also knowing we can turn to each other for different things. As a mini-mom I also think Katherine wanted to set a good example for each of my siblings and always wanted to keep a close eye on us and wanted to be super involved in everything we were doing. Once Christopher was born, she went full force with him and it allowed me to go off and do my own thing. I also rebelled a bit in high school which I don’t think I would have been able to do had Katherine not respected every rule. And for that, I’m also very grateful.
In school, you were only one grade apart, so you attended a lot of the same parties and ended up having a lot of mutual friends. What was that like? How do you think the small age gap affected your relationship growing up?
CS: Well, I definitely don’t think Katherine liked me showing up to her friend’s parties in high school. Haha. I liked it because it I knew most of the people from a young age, but it was always a little nerve-wracking for my friends and I when we knew we’d run into Katherine at a party. Most of the time she would tell us to leave, and we of course stayed which always brought on a little drama. We’re a little over nineteen months apart, and as kids my mom loved dressing us up the same, had us enrolled in similar activities and we went to the same school. We reached a point early on where we felt like okay this is enough and I wanted to do my own thing. There was a period of time when I wanted to do the opposite of what she did. If she wore fancy shoes, I’d wear sneakers, she wore a dress, I wore a Power Rangers’ outfit, she rode horses, I danced and so on…It also prompted me to change schools in 7th grade to create my own little world where I wasn’t known as ‘Katherine’s younger sister’ and then eventually moved back east for college to carve out an individual identity. I think a lot of people saw us as a unit—which we are—but I was constantly trying to find ways to do my own thing and make sure people saw us as individuals who were different. People would often compare us to each other—which I strongly recommend against! —which would made me feel even more compelled to set myself apart.
What advice would you give parents about creating a close bond between daughters?
KSP: I think our parents did a good job at reminding us to include each other and allowed us to have our own activities and our own friends. I think that was a big deal for us when we were growing up. When we were little we did most everything together. We went to the same camps, same activities, dressed the same etc. Then there was a point where we started showing interest in certain activities or things in life more than the other one did and our parents really allowed us to follow that interest and have it be separate than hers. Christina was always big into dance and creativity and she followed that while I went and followed my passion for
horseback riding. We both started these activities together and then naturally gravitated to a specific one. We also had family dinner every night as a family, especially during the week and then on Sunday. Our family vacations were mostly just us kids, we started bringing friends later, so we were all very close growing up.
CS: Allow each child to individuate and find what speaks to them. We had unique interests, learned differently, handled things differently, and my parents did a great job of understanding how we’re different and of trying to love and approach us knowing that, which was a gift. They also constantly reminded us that we would be best friends when we were older and to always be grateful to have a sister that close in age. I never understood what they meant until I got older, and it’s true. When it came to any fights or disagreements, they also tried to support us while not getting in the middle of it which was helpful. For me, going to a different school was a game changer and I would recommend it to anyone with daughters close in age. I think fostering their individuality—be it their interests, learning styles, the way they dress, etc.—is a gift for both girls, while also fostering family activities or family dinners to connect and bring everyone back together.
When your relationship went through changes, what did your mom and dad do to support you through that?
CS: They listened and supported us individually and also as a pair. I think because my mom always wanted a sister, she would constantly remind us how lucky we are. She drilled this message into us and though we may have not felt that growing up, it couldn’t ring more true today. Both my parents are the second child so I was able to relate to them both about that, and my dad had an older brother who was also close in age. I would ask him what he did or how he felt having an older sibling close in age and knowing what we went through was common and people overcame that was helpful. I’m grateful to both of my parents who constantly worked very hard on our relationship and each of my siblings relationships.
KSP: Both our parents just listened and supported us through those times of wanting more independence from each other. Being so close in age I think comes with hitting a point where you want to differentiate yourself from each other and become your own person. In that, Christina really took the lead there. I was way too afraid to leave home and move away and she did it, so I reflect on my college experience as being more one visiting her than enjoying my own haha. Our mom also comes from a big family so whenever we would fight she would always remind us of her relationships with her brothers and how important they are in life. She never had a sister so she always talked about how much she had wanted a sister and how lucky we both are to have a sister. Having a sister and siblings are built in best friends and the bond between sisters is one that is even more fun and special as a girl because you can share so much with one another that is totally unique to you.
What is your relationship like today as adults? And how did your relationships evolve over time? Were there ever times when we weren’t close?
KSP: I actually just reminisced about our relationship at Christina’s birthday celebration and got SO emotional about it. It is such a beautiful gift to be able to see our relationship today and how close we are. We have always been close and I think when you are grown up and choose to be close to your siblings and see them and connect with them, that makes it extra special. We talk every day, multiple times a day, and to see my sister as an Aunti has opened up a new love department for her in my heart that makes me want to cry tears of joy. LOL EMO!
CS: My sister is my everything. She’s the yin to my yang, my closest confidant, my best friend, and the one who understands me and what we’ve gone through together on a different level. For those who don’t have this kind of relationship, know it was not always like this! It was difficult throughout middle and high school and we would fight often. We slowly became closer when I left for college and I think the distance allowed us to connect just the two of us and put in own effort. Katherine would visit me and I took her out which was always fun. After I came home from college, we fostered Maverick and Katherine adopted him, and we bonded over our crazy love for him—we are a little family of three. When I lived in New York, most of my memories were sitting on Facetime with Katherine the entire day. My niece has allowed our relationship to evolve in another amazing dimension. I admire Katherine’s strength, patience, love and ability to mother and it’s a gift to watch her and be able to be present for both of them.
As we get older and our lives grow, what is something we do to stay connected? How do you lean on each other in challenging times?
KSP: As I said before, we literally talk and facetime every day. We start pretty early in the morning and sometimes we are facetiming in bed with our significant others lying next to us. Haha. Needless to say, we are very connected. During challenging times or a rough day, talking to my sister is always bound to bring up my spirits. First of all, she is crazy protective (a Leo) and if someone hurt my feelings, she will be my hype girl on the phone to make me not even be bothered any more. When I need her to listen, she does, and when I need her advice, she gives it, and without a doubt, she will always make me die of laughter. Christina is secretly one of the funniest people I know and has the best sense of humor. That is another huge gift about having a sister, is the sense of humor you have with your sister and siblings that only comes from knowing life together and growing up around each other.
CS: We call each other multiple—literally multiple–times a day. I have no shame in the game and bug her until we speak. We also play tennis together or go on walks so having something like that that we both enjoy, creates a built-in schedule that we don’t need to think about. We make a conscience effort every day, to show up for each other, to hear each other, and to really better understand one another. I’m right there for her and I know she is there for me. If I’m sad, stuck or feel lost on something, Katherine can turn into mom or sister mode and just nurture the heck out of me, call to check in and makes me feel like a priority. It’s a process and one that interests me and I see it as an opportunity to get to know her which is really cool. She also doesn’t judge me—or at least doesn’t make it known—which is an incredible feeling no matter who you are or what age you are.
What would you tell your younger selves in this image about your relationship over the years to come?
CS: Believe what your mom says! Haha. Even though you have your differences, your differences are what make each of you shine and will be the very things you appreciate about each other the most.
KSP: I would tell these two that they are going to be the best of friends and no matter what or how much we fight over sharing a bathroom, sharing a bedroom/closet, or how angry we get when one steals the others clothes, we will always come back to being each other’s best friend and biggest cheerleader.
What’s the best and most special thing about having a sister? What do you think makes your sisterly bond unique?
CS: Having someone who has been and will be with you through life, who has experienced many of the same things you have (that friends haven’t), someone who has greater insight in your unique family systems/dynamics, and someone you can relate to. Also having a best friend you can lean on at all times.
