Making the Most Out of Your Love ‘Time Out’ During the Pandemic
Well, we certainly didn’t expect this, did we? Though this pandemic took me (and the rest of us) by complete surprise, I must say that as a Love Architect/matchmaker, I had been feeling a pervasive sense of despair out there that I never experienced in my 25 plus years in this business. Could it be that taking a ‘time out’ was the thing that everyone needed to reassess their inner selves? Indeed, I think it is the best cure for the ‘pandemic’ of self-absorption and of self-loathing that I have noticed.
So, as I sit at home along with the rest of the world, I, too, am being introduced to more of myself than ever before, parts of me that also had become lost, as a married woman, as a mother, as me. One who has experienced 22 years of marriage learning and growing (growing “up”), with my husband, along with 27 years working with clients around the world as a relationship expert, life coach, and spiritual healer. Yet clearly the journey of self-awareness and growth isn’t even close to being done! How exciting!
Within this experience, I’ve paid the most attention to what “doesn’t work” when it comes to love, especially the love I’ve had for myself, and I’ve learned a lot. Let’s take a look at what I’ve found to be one of the greatest issues facing us today.
Issue number one, we’ve stopped honoring our ‘value’, our true value, therefore, our values. When we do this, nothing has a chance of going very well. I mean nothing, if you’re really being honest with yourself. What I’m saying is that we’ve stopped loving ourselves in a healthy way. We’ve stopped listening to that beautiful, knowledgeable inner voice of ours that has been designed to protect us while also leading us to love and the right partner. That inner voice that screams “red flag: pay attention!” The voice that begins as a respectful whisper saying, “Don’t do it, don’t eat it, don’t say it, be kind, don’t listen to it, don’t trust it, don’t stay in it,”… OR, “Yes do it, you ARE smart, beautiful, amazing, worthy of love, of something exceptional!” You are MORE valuable than you know. When we ignore the most valuable thing we have that is there to connect and protect us through wisdom, true joy, and happiness, we end up doing and being things in our life that actually push us further from love.
In a world where our lives are managed basically through technology, we have been showing up in ways that have been the furthest from honoring ourselves, our value, what we want in and as a partner, what we actually deserve. What happened you ask?
Before the Pandemic, I believe, we as a society had fallen asleep, spiritually asleep, deep into the trap of our egos, of convenience, especially when it came to the energy put into what and who mattered most. Gone were the days of ‘truly’ connecting in person, in spirit, in heart. Instead, we relied mostly on our hand held device for connection.
What happened to our culture? How did we become so lost? We have been falling further away from ourselves than ever before, and again all in the name of wanting and seeking something more. And then came the “lock down,” the chance to “go within,” without much choice. How beautiful.
Who is up for rebuilding a new experience during this challenging time to help you put everything in perspective so that when we do emerge back into society and dating resumes, you have learned and grown?!
Here are my suggestions:
*Stop blaming everything that isn’t working for things outside of yourself. No more excuses like too busy, too old, not enough time, etc.
*Your life is under construction so pause to look at the foundation of what your life has been sitting on until now. It’s time to build a fresh foundation with new walls so you can design your life to be exactly as you want it to be.
*Make a list, as long as you can, about what you won’t accept first from yourself and then others anymore.
*Make a pact and plan through a vision board as to just what your new life will be after this pandemic is over.
*Write a letter to yourself and to those your heart is pinging you about and make amends. It’s time to forgive the people that have hurt you and look towards the future with wisdom and optimism.
*Take care of yourself in every way. Eat better, stretch, meditate, pray, breathe in fresh air, listen to the birds and appreciate nature, dance, laugh and live in gratitude for what you’ve always had and will no longer ignore. I promise you that love is there waiting. It’s time to finally trust that!
As for this yes, absolutely ghastly virus that brought our planet to its knees in just a month’s time; who would have thought that the very illness that forced us apart has created the ability for us to not only be closer but healthier as a society? Yes, healthier, and more connected within than ever before. How interesting that we as a people have the chance to experience a sickness that in the end has the ability to make us actually healthier than ever before, especially when it comes to the way we experience love, beginning with ourselves.
I am a Love Architect.